it's all my mom's fault. that's all i'm gonna say. she should be the executive chef of some 5-star restaurant. i swear to God she can take a pile of shit and turn it into gold...the edible kind.
so i'm not gonna lie. i planned it. i planned to join in with the rest of america and become a gluttonous pig on the eve and the day of christmas. so it's been two days now since i had to get my stomach pumped just kidding and i'm back on track. i'm starting to wonder if it's possible that i'm a little more "normal" than i once thought. it's true that once i start, i can't stop and once i start eating crap, that's all i wanna eat and i eat over stress and emotions...but isn't the rest of the world a little bit like that too?
i don't know. who cares. it's exhausting trying to figure this all out. for certain there are two kinds of people:
people type 1: food is just fuel and it's not a big deal
people type 2: food is fuel and fun and a stress-reliever and a boredom-fixer and an emotion-drowner
and then there's a spectrum for people type 2 that goes from functional-people type 2 all the way to OMG kill me i'm a food addict. i definitely think i'm on the people type 2 spectrum but perhaps i'm not such a fucking weirdo like i thought. i'm just pretty astonished to find myself able to make the choice today to not eat shit. i really do have that choice and i didn't always feel that way. i am grateful for the freedom i have even if it's not perfect. i've come so far. it's a God-given miracle.
happy eating! xo
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