i weigh 142 and i want to kill myself. sooo when i first lost all this weight i got all the way down to 132 but i felt like it was too low so i wanted to get back up to like 135-137. i was there for a bit and then decided to leave my program and i maintained my weight at 139-140. but then i started messing with my food and i got up to 145 and i felt terrible. so i went back to my program and got it back to 139 and felt good. well now i am back to 142 because of some recent binges and what i like to call "skeezy" things that i do with my food. making poor choices...calorie ridden choices.
ok so here we are at 142. i am unhappy here because when you're a small person, you can really feel it when you gain 3 pounds. i don't feel as attractive in my clothes...my belly feels a little bigger and my pants are all very snug. this is a real thing, ya know? it really is. it sucks. i am upset with myself for screwing around with my food because if i'd just follow directions, i'd be happy in my skin.
my plan is to follow directions today and ask God for help in doing so.
happy eating! xo
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