i'm swimmin in the great ocean with a school of fish but i'm sort of in the back ready to get swept away and scarfed down by an enormous shark.
that's how i feel since i lost my sponsor. it's amazing how quickly shit can go down. one minute i got someone to be accountable to and the next minute - not so much. and now i'm playing with the following thoughts:
1. screw it. let's eat!
2. haha i'm not going to meetings for a whole week!
3. woohoo! i'm not writing every day for 15 minutes!!
4. yeehaaaa! no outreach calls to strange people i don't really like!
5. hmm...i think i can have a little extra protein....maybe another grain or two...OR MAYBE I CAN JUST EAT A WHOLE TUB OF BEN AND JERRY'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's so annoying. my food addiction is like that shark stalking me from behind - ready to grab me when i fall behind just a little.
i need to find a new sponsor and continue doing what i know works, but damnit, i don't want to. i find it to be very very difficult to begin working with a new person. it's painful and uncomfortable. but if i don't work the steps, my next binge is inevitable.
staying in the moment...working it one minute at a time.
happy eating! xo
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