hardest thing i've ever done - well, aside from my first year of marriage haha - doing life without my drug...
giving up alcohol was quite the adjustment but i got used to a life without it and now i don't miss it. but this food thing - OMG. every day is a struggle. every day i want more food. every day i think about it. every day i have to work really hard to fight this monster that lives inside me. it's the cookie monster, man! for real! think about that blue guy - eating those cookies the way he does. flinging that shit every where. all he thinks about is cookies. he lives for them. needs them. that's me to a T. so every day i walk around with the cookie monster inside of me trying to keep him hidden and asleep.
i was talking to a good friend yesterday about my hatred of vegetables and i was sort of joking when i said "eating vegetables goes against everything i'm made for. i'm wired to eat doughnuts not cauliflower!" i was kind of joking and just making a point but you know what, there is some truth in that. i am a food addict and i've been active in my addiction for the duration of my life. now i'm resisting this mother fucking thing and it's like swimming upstream.
i am grateful for the 12 steps, my support network and for God who help me heal and get well one day at a time. today is day 10.
happy eating! xo
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