here it is. day 7. i've had a million day sevens. but this time i'm actually doing something differently.
repentance literally means turning around and going in the opposite direction. so if something isn't working but you keeping doing the same shit, what's that called? INSANITY. i've been insane for a while now with food and it hasn't really shown on the ouside. unless you are intuitive and have noticed that i'm in a bad mood ALL THE TIME, you really wouldn't know that i've been a wreck. i wonder how many other people out there are a wreck but nobody notices....hmm....
it's not just about the weight. i gained 9 pounds back. not the end of the world. but what about waking up every day with a sense of dread? being a bitchy wife? never wanting to be touched because i feel like a cow? hating everyone i interact with because really, i hate myself? wanting to hide in bed all day and doing so unless absolutely necessary to leave? or NOT hiding in bed all day and going through the motions of life but not enjoying it at all? that's even worse!!!
so that's where i was but not where i'm going. today is day 7 of not only being on the wagon, but it's day 7 of my new life - my life being committed to spiritual principles again, being an active, live member of my family, salon, and school and being of service to God and my fellows. how 'bout it? let's see where this road takes me. this new road to freedom.
happy eating! xo
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